I Have No Idea

Rite now, I feel that something is happen in my life. Something that will change my life.. I am not sure about it but I think what I think is true. Dont know want to believe it or not.. Just no idea.. Maybe have some idea with it but maybe just pretending know nothing.. Em.. Or maybe I really have no idea..

They Stupid Or Smart? ?

Yesterday, just arrive from my village at K****** J****, T******, P****. It is very crowded at the highway, a lot of cars, and other vehicle.. I can understand this situation because yesterday is Sunday, so it is normal since today maybe there have some people already working. But what disappoint me is the attitude of most drivers..

What they think with themselves? cant they have what we call " SABAR".. where is their patient? Really tension with almost of them, they dont realize what they done is make the jammed situation become more jammed. What the hell with all of them. Really feel sorry with my dad that always be a good driver..

They think they smart, but for me they are stupid.. really are.. What they do is very dangerous to other drivers. They take for granted with the traffic light, use it wrongly and use a junction as their shortcut. The worse is although it still jammed, some drivers still want to be a racer. True, They races to their own grave..

And the result for me and my family, our journey from my village to my home become 9 hours!! Thats why I say that they are very stupid.. Dont they have mind? Dont they realize make 2 lane into 4 lane will make the jammed become worse? What the hell with all of them.. Crazy drivers. how can they get licences? They stupid or smart?

Am I Change??

Week and week.. some of my friends say to me that they think I am change.. Emm.. is it true? Me myself dont know about it. I think I am still me, the same person. So really dont understand what they means by I am change.. Ok2.. let discuss about it in my own opinion..

Physically - For me, in physical.. there is no change.. Same as last year.. But to be honest, I really want to change this. I want to look more fit. Since a lot of people says that I am thin. So of coz I want to increase my weight. Besides, for your info my BMI is 18 only. Really need something to make me become bigger.. haha

Mentally - Em, really not sure about this. But maybe there have some changing in my thinking way. Hey, I am 22 now!! So of coz I want to look more matured with my thinking. It is a time to stop think like a childish and try to think with more rational.

Emotionally - Haha.. to be honest. Some time I dont really understand about what is emotionally? It is a feeling? If it is, what kind of feeling? Hatred? Love? Wateva but if true that it is about feeling, I dont know weither I have change or not.. So later.. Ahaks!!

Personally - Consider as my personality, I think this part really change a lot. When I small, what I wear is depend on my mom choices. But now it is depend from me. What I wear, what I use. And I think now I feel comfortable with my own personality. So it is ok for me then.

Attitude - I am me, but maybe there is some change in it. For this, no one can blame me. I am only human. And my act depend on situation and if there is some changing in my attitude, sure there is a reason. Beside, it is based on my past experience. So please understand this..

So.. there is what I can say about the changing in myself. Maybe there have some that is change. But for me there is nothing wrong to do some changing for ourself. As long it is a change to become the better person rite? Thats all..

The Another One

Huh.. what can I say, suddenly someone add me in one of my social networking site. And that person is another person I try to avoid.. since that person really make me scared with the words came from that person mouth.. Hmm.. about few days I keep thinking about what should I do that will satisfy that person..

I know deep in that person heart, of coz that person want me to approve, isn't it? Coz I think there is no human in this world for example A add someone at any networking site example B and hope B will ignore or reject A. But the problem is, what will happen if I approve that person? It is better or it will be worse after I approve it?

I think about few days and for me the best thing to do is ignore it. Sorry to that person but it is the best I can do. I dont want to add some more trouble by approve that person. Besides, I know that person more than anyone. I dont want to make my mind crazy to think what will happen after I approve. So it is better to ignore it, the another one..

Spend Or Earn??

Hi there.. finally the thing call holiday has come.. but really dont know what I want to do for this holiday.. In my mind only set with 2 things. Either to njoy this holiday or find some work to do.. Hmm.. 2 choices that has their own pros and cons..

If I decide to enjoy this holiday, it is means to spend money. But as the result, I can entertain myself.. Besides, a lot of places that I can go.. beach, mall, resort, theme park. A lot of it. There I can relaxing my mind and myself. So maybe njoy this holiday is a good choice to pick.

But if I choose to work, maybe I will not have time to entertain myself. Maybe need to wake up earlier in the morning. But, what I will get later is receive salary and can increase my money. And after that I also can njoy like the others.

So, what should I do actually? spend or earn some money?? or maybe do both of it.. Hmm.. think and think.. and I decide to decide it later.. daa..

Finally Over, Before That..

Huh.. after a hard week, finally it is over.. Em.. now it is time to take some rest and rest.. But thinking of it, am I perform good enough? I hope so.. I sacrifice my sleep time try to memorize everything everyday and everynight.. I hope what I done to face that week is enough. But for now dont want to talk about it anymore.. Let talk about happy things.

So, now is relaxing time.. and time to go back to my hometown (Yeayy!!!) But before that, still have some thing to do.. Enjoy?? haha.. everyday I have enjoyable life so maybe no need to think about it. My clothes? yes!! a lot of clothes need to wash before come home but feel very lazy to do it.. Who want volunteer to help me? Anyone? haha.

Last thing is to go to department and settle some problem about my presentation.. Huh.. I hope it was not to late. Really dont notice about it until the day I came to department to send the cd of my presentation slide.. Hope the sister2 at the office will help me. Hehe.. And after that, my hometown here I come!! Happy holiday!!

What I Want..

To anyone who dont know about it, about few hours ago I just comeback from my hometown. Some friends say it is crazy thing that I do. Go back just to take my calculator that I left at home even only few days I will sit for final exam. Haha maybe it is true but anything that we do always has "HIKMAH" rite? Em.. 1 day at home and I learn it is time for me to think what I really want..

What I want.. forget the past - first thing that come out from my mind is this thing. Yes!! it is true. I want to forget my past. Dont want to think about it anymore.. My past is everything related to me in the past. Problems, ex, enemy.. wateva.. For real, I don't want to think about it. Rite now, what I want to do is to walk on my own path. I will try my best to look forward and never turn back.

What I want.. hardworking - this thing is my best "friend" since I am in standard 1. but after I be a university student, I notice that it has leave me. Maybe it is hard for me to get it back, but I will try and try to find that hardworking. I know I really need it because it help me a lot to make me become me rite now... So anything I will do in order to get it back.

What I want.. love ? - hmm.. it is true I need it? Love from my family, my true friends.. I really need it. But love from someone that we call lover, I dont think I want it rite now. It is enough for me to think about it. I dont care to be hurt but to hurt someone again, I dont want to do it. Maybe when the time come and I meet someone that GOD created for me, I will think about it again but for now nope.

What I want.. successful - of coz I want it!! To be a successful person is my dream since I am small. Really feel jealous with some peoples that really success in their life. Have their own company. Live their life easily. No need to worry about debt and etc etc.. Hope someday I will be like them. So to achieve that, I must work hard isn't it? After that I can also think about Caldina, Veyron and Viper rite? haha.

What I want.. care other people - I cannot avoid from doing this. Sorry to say but it is in my blood since I have heart. My friends also care for me so I want to return the favor. Besides, I know some close friends really need someone to care about them. So I want to be that person as long as I could until they found someone that really care for them more than me. For some that is not comfortable with it, I will stop doing it to them. So dont worry about it.

What I want.. new me - Just a few months to go and I will finish my study.. INSYAALLAH. So now it is suitable time to change myself physically and mentally. First is to increase my weight since many peoples say that I am too thin. Me myself agree with that. Haha. I think I do some exercise but maybe that still not enough. So must work out double after this. Mentally, I want to be more confident person, brave to speak in front of peoples.. So anyone can help?? haha.

Rite now, that is the things that I really want. I have a lots more actually but for now it is enough. Maybe some peoples also think the same things like me. Maybe the others has different thing that they want inside their mind. Bad things or good things, anything can be but hope it is a good things. And for me, I will try and try and try until I got what I want..

4/11, My Choice Is ??

Today is 3/11. It is means that tomorrow is 4/11. It is a birthday of her/him. I dont know what to do. Come in my mind is 3 choices. And from these three, I need to choose 1 as my decision. And what will I choose?? I keep thinking about it until now.. and there only few times left..

1. Wish her/him birthday - It is a first choice that I have. It seem very easy rite? Just text happy birthday and send to her/him. But for me, it is not. Wish her/him like give her/him hope. Last time I decide to wish her/him, her/him ask me to fulfil one of her/him wishes. I dont know what to do so I just keep silent. So now, it is hard for me to choose this.

2. No need to wish her/him birthday - Second choice that I can choose as my decision. It seem cruel but maybe this is the best choice that I can choose. Some of my friends that know about this also said it is better for me not to wish her/him, since her/him hope something from me. Maybe not wish her/him will make her/him realize to stop hope something from me.

3. Ask friend to wish her/him birthday - The third and the final choice. At first, this is what I want to do. Ask help from my friend to wish her/him birthday on behalf of me. Maybe for me it is a best choice. Her/him know I wish her/him and at the same time no need to wish by myself. But one said doing this is more cruel than not wish her/him at all.

So, at last what will I choose from this three choices? Wish? No need to wish? Ask friend to wish? Em.. it seem easy to decide but for me it is hard.. Even I feel hatred to her/him, still very tough for me to choose what should I do. And the time is keep running.. So finally, my choice is ??