Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Cant Help Anything About It..


Settle down with few chapters of thesis report, as usual online and see that one of my fren seem having problem. So decide to say hi and then, we ended with a chating about 1 and half hour I think.. or maybe more than that.. Start with the normal malay languages to the serious matter using english words and quote, a lot things we share.

And even we are fren, but since we are still considered stranger to each other, then I come out with this question " Can you teach me to be bad?" At first this person refuses to teach but at last it gave up and start to teach. The first thing that I must do is kick out my mercy, than my feeling and always believe in myself but must start to trust no one.

It is very difficult to do, ++ I have something call "nice" deep inside my heart. That thing will always stop me to do all that so first I must eliminate that "nice" but how? It is really2 tough compare to do my thesis report since that "nice" thing had already born inside my heart and already leave there since first time I know the world.

This person say I cant be bad since Im too nice to be like that. Em.. maybe but for me enough with this nice thing. Now is time to make some arrangement. This person ask how about my promise to become normal again? Em.. speechless.. dont know how to answer it. Maybe I just lie? Will try but cant promise, plus I already gave up with it.

And I already set up my mind and will no regret with it. I still want to choose that path. Maybe not for now but it will happen some day. At the time when I start to live independently and far away from all these peoples, I will start to be that. So hope that when it happen, my true frens can accept it, otherwise I cant help anything about it..

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