I Choose..

My life today start with the happiness. I done with my thesis's proposal.. (Finally), want to pay debt, but ZK said let consider it as a treat, no need to pay.. (Thanx!!), my father bank in some money.. (Thanx a lot!!), eat with MAKZ at secret recipe.. (Delicious), short sms with my sis AA (Funny), have some karaoke (Fun), DO celebrate besday (Congratz!!). Everything seem to be fine until "that person" text me.. just a simple one:

OnCe U ReCeiVeD tHiS sMs

a) CaLL mE iF U LoVe Me

b) MsCaLL iF u CaRe

c) SeND BaCk tHiS sMS iF u LiKe Me

d) seNd mE a JoKe iF u A FrEn

e) Do NotHiNG iF u HaTe Me

Hmm.. what is the reason "that person" send me such sms? What is "that person" expect me to do? To choose? If "that person" think I choose (a), it totally wrong. How about to choose (b), (c) or (d)? At past, it is maybe but after "that person" show it "honesty" to me, say a lot of "nice word" to me and "praise" me a lot, without any regret I choose (e). Sorry to say but my decision is final. So to "that person": I choose to Do NotHinNG !!

Just My Opinion..

Lately bz with assignment and bla bla bla.. Now quite relaxing and want to do some update with this thing but really dont know what to write, and suddenly her/him give me the idea to write about her/him. Maybe her/him just joking with it but maybe it is a good idea. Few times later, a friend of her/him challange me to write about her/him for real.. Emm.. I ask her/him one more time and her/him said that there is not much to say about her/him. Maybe, but why not I try it? A challenge for me rite? So here it is.. Just my opinions..

Drifter, first thing that came in my mind about her/him is this word. Haha.. what can I say, her/him is a very good driver. Or maybe "very good" driver. The word that always come out in my mouth "laju gile bawak kete, ntah bape speed trap die dah dapat" With the speed of car about 130km/h, her/him can turn the journey that take about one and half an hour into less than fourty minutes. Believe it coz it is true.

Independent, for me this really suite her/him. I can see it from my eyes that her/him can stand alone with her/him own feet. Her/him can do whatever that her/him want without need help from anyone. What can I say, her/him is strong enough. Maybe the past has taugh her/him to be such person. But past is past.. so to her/him, no need to worry because rite now if her/him cannot stand alone, there have peoples that will help her/him to stand back.

Active, what is actually means?? Is her/him really an active person? Em.. maybe if I relate it with some topics. Travelling using cars.. her/him is very good with it. KL, Perak, Selangor.. just say it, any place can. Eating.. very active one. Everyday in her/him life is full with eating. Breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and even supper. Very active eater.. haha. Snaping and posing. No need to be teach, no need to be ask. Just turn on the camera and here it is, picture of her/him is ready.

None of my business, favourite word of her/him. One of the attitude of her/him. Dont want to interfere with the others problem. Dont want to involve with others matter. Just take care of her/him matters. But the good thing her/him can be a good listener. So it is enough rite? Just share the problems and we will feel release. But her/him will not force. If want to story, just go on but if don't want, it is okay for her/him.

Angry, sorry to say this but her/him is really angry person. Haha.. But the nice thing with this angry her/him. Everyone like to disturbing her/him, like to make a joke with her/him. It is entertain disturbing her/him as long her/him is not really angry. I repeated not really angry. Means that her/him is not angry for real. If her/him is really angry and at that time try to disturbing her/him.. Don't want to say, I already got my lesson.. haha.

So.. here it is, a few opinions about her/him. Only that I can say. Only that I can write. Want to say more but don't have too much idea.. Haha.. but I think for me it is enough. To her/him dont take it in the heart. It just my opinions. Maybe different peoples have different opinions about her/him. But for me, this is what I can see about her/him from the first time I know her/him until now. So last time I want to say. Just my opinions..

24/7 - Manipulative VS Love

Firstly, credit to M.A.K.Z. for introduce this mv to me.. For me, it is very great mv and everyone should see it.. haha. The title is That Guy's Girl from korean group 24/7. At first I really don't understand about the story from this mv. But after few times watching it, I think I understand.. Simple, just be manipulative to succeed.. to be the last winner.

Forget everything and use every chances that we see in front of us.. use it or in other word, take for granted with it. It is true rite? Nowadays every peoples do it. Kick other peoples in order to be on the top. Just see the 4th guy in this mv, just be manipulative he make 3 guys fight with each others until death.. The world is really cruel. If we feel hesitate to do it, at last we will be the biggest loser.

This mv also tell us some fact about love. Really love the quotes use in this mv. (Love has come but no one know it came, We simply see the love disappearing),(Love is the devil, fire, heaven and hell, Pleasure, pain, grief and regret coexist there),(The love which is mixed with the hatred is stronger than love hatred),(If a man attains to the top of love, It is sufficient to solve the hatred of millions of people),(There is no remedy for love but to love more)

And the last word from the 4th guy after he easily kill the girl, (If you want the meat prize, you have to take responsibility until the end. Don't you agree?) So just think about it. Agree or not, it is up to you. Manipulative VS Love, which is much stronger? which will be the winner? And lastly, enjoy this mv!!

What Are They Looking At ??

A week a go, suddenly there come sms in my nset. Thanx God it is not from R but someone else.. What?? sms from someone that call N.. open it and it say " I miss U, and even dream about U.." Oh my God.. What is happen? I think my life is not like this before. I think I never get such sms like that before.. And suddenly I think and think.. When all this start to happen? When "they" start looking at me? When?? When?? And I try recall my past..

"About couple of years ago, this person M*** K******* N*** just a normal person, and until now he is normal person. But the different is at that time, nobody didn't notice about him. He also don't know why.. Minus student in his class, and minus student that has same age with him. Try to ask other students, his senior or his junior, do they know him? Exactly 95% will say "NO".. Believe me sometimes he feel jealous with his own friend who is so famous and has a lot of fans, receive a lot of gifts, chocolates, mug and so on.. Sometimes he ask himself "There is nobody that want to know me? What is different between me and others?" But still nothing change so he just accept it as a fate.

Matrix life.. maybe this is the starting for all this.. A month in matrix still the same. But after that, it start to be different. He start to receive a lot of sms from strangers that want to know him. Some sms such as "Leh x nak kawan ngan awak?" "Leh kite jadi kawan?" "Awak N*** kan? nak kawan leh?" start to full his inbox.. What is happen? suddenly they want to know him.. Feel strange but for him that is never receive such sms, he feel so lucky and simply he agree to be friend with all of them.. But only just a friend.. not more than that.. So from when come N ?? from where come N ??

N - this person suddenly call him when he is in matrix, and N says that she is friend of him's friend. So he accept it as a friend. At first N seem not really interested to be friend with him. So he just let it be, plus at that time N has a bf.. Until N break up, she start to getting close with him. N start to change a word from "aku ko" to " I U".. and start using word syg, n wateva.. He ask N why she use all this word and what N says it is normal use "syg"with her friend.. So, he accept it as ok. Until the day N says that she really fall in love with him and will do anything.. This really make him shock. What happen suddenly?? About a month and a month, he try to say that we can only be friend and he can't accept it, but N still not give up. He after that ask help from his sis to settle this problem and it seem it work.. but it is not.. a month after N stop text him, N start to text him back.. and she said it is okay if he not love N but N will always love him and this continue until now.."

End with the past.. Maybe at the past, I really want this, Really njoy with it. But rite now, I tired with it.. really tired.. And still questioning myself.. What is happen actually?? Why suddenly me, the person who people didn't notice about my existence in a past, now can suddenly attract people to know me? And can fall in love with me? R, N, etc..etc.. They.. What are they looking at me now? What are they seen from me now? What have I got now that I didn't get in the past? What is different between me now and past? What is it? I still the same person either in past, present or future.. So... What are they looking at??

They Are So Sweet

Today, comeback to house. Bored.. so online fb.. Emm.. there only have several peoples online.. Since nothing to do, try to read the previous comments and suddenly found this. Really first time see this thing.. Suddenly make me touching and want to drop some tears.. they are really sweet.. so happy to meet them in my life.. Now I know there have peoples really concern with me.. Thanx!!

na -wer is he ??? huhuhu.. pliz kol me if u see him k.. =(

do : =(

do : sy risau kat die jgk~~

na : do : hurm.. what shud we do ??? wat happen nie.. haizz

do : die g karok ke.. ? ari tu die tension g karok~~

na : do : tatau.. hurm.. penat da cari die kat bawah tikar.. tp tade

do : bwh tikar..? cissss~~

fr : bgs~! tlg laa crik cepat.. ak dh r sgt penat, bsuh kete, kemas umah.. beli brg, n xmakan lg sbb risaukan org~!

na : nape ??? aku cari guinea aku la..

na : fr : huhu cari mane ?? aku pun tatau.. wat a bad fren aku nih.. =,(

fr : ape pulak ko.. xde xde.. ak yg slh niey... ak kene crik die weyh~~ hueee... mane die ilang.. ?

na : huhu... aku pun ade salah gak ke ?? tatau la.. tade sape tau die g mane.. aku sms pun senyap je

fr : kol pun xdpt~~ wpun die dh besar dan seorg lelaki, tp.. aku musykil~~

na : huhu.. sempat lak ko wat lawak.. huhu.. memg la.. die kan gagah perkase.. tapi mcm2 leh jd kat KL ni

do : aku yg salah~~

na : do : nape lak??? huhhu..

do : aku yg angin ngan die smpai die bwk diri~~

na : do : hurm.. mb salah paham je ni.. tape2.. bg die mase..

And I'm sure other than this 3 person, I have a lot more friend that really concern with me.. other than my family's member.. (zk, si, ha, ms, ak, etc..) I really appreciate to know all of you guyz!! Only GOD can pay what you had done.. So to all of you, thanx a lot for being my friends..

It Is Over Or Not??

Yesterday, when I go to stall to have something to eat.. one message come to my inbox. And when I open it, just a simple one, from my ex. It says "4hari lg..aniversary kte awk..2thn...". Suddenly I get confuse, what its mean by aniversary? So I show the message to two of my friends and this is a response that I get: "X setel2 g ke hal ngan die?" "Ko g je r celebrate" n this make me more confuse.

I try to think and I'm sure there is no aniversary on that day.. I receive the message on 15hb10 and if it says 4 days its mean 19hb10.. What happen during that day? First time I receive a call from her is on 20hb10.. how lucky she call me on that day if not, I'm sure will not answer the phone. After that, we declare on 18hb11. And the truth is we are break so how can be aniversary?

So what will happen on 19hb10? aniversary for what? I keep questioning myself the same question and to makesure about it, at last I decide to ask her, just to know. I never realize the decision to ask her about the event on that day is a fool decision. Really didn't expect that what I get from her is a words that make me want to jump from a building. And that make me questioning myself: "It is over or not??"

She Said...

She said.. that I never think of her after we break.. Is that true? If so, why I still keep the gifts that she gave me? Why I still ask peoples that know her, is she alright? is she happy? And why I still keep some of the photos that is most memorable with me? Why??

She said.. that I do a decision just for myself.. Is that true? If so, why I still thinking the result that I got from the decision I make? Why I still question myself that I do is right or wrong? And why I still blame myself after I made the decision? Why??

She said.. that I never try to save our relationship.. Is that true? If so, why I dont want her to forget me after we break? Why I still want her to contact me after that? And why I ask her to be my friend first. Why??

She said.. that now she really want to forget me.. Is that true? If so, why she always asking me weither I still love her or not? Why she still want me to give her hope? And why she still want to know what I'm doing now? Why??

She said.. that I will not get a person that can love me very2 much like she does.. Is that true? If so, is that means I will live alone after this? Without someone special in my life? If the God create me with no one to be my someone, I will take that as my fate..

And what I want to say, thanx for her for being honest with me after couple of years..

My Past Will Always Be My Past..

Em.. Hi.. long time not updated this thing. Very busy lately, with the test and assignment.. Em.. just want to write about one thing that happen to me. Suddenly "My Past" that known as R try to call me.. I dont know what to do.. so I just let it.. After R ending her call, I text her.. and the conversation of us is as below...

me: Em.. nape ek?

R: Saje tanye khabar. Sihat?

me: Alhamdulillah sihat, awak mesti sihat gak kan? sori kalau ade terkasar ari 2

R: Maaf mu di terima. Bz ek?

me: Em. thanx. Xde bz pun. Nak g makan jap.

R: Em.. jom makan ngan sy nak?

me: Em.. xpe r.. Next time kot.. sy x sedia nak jumpe awak g..

R: Em ye ke..ok la. Sy pun x makan lagi. 2 yang tanye if awak nak makan ngan sy. Em, tesis awak camne?

me: Sori ek.. Em tesis ok je. Still in progress.. awak keje dah ek? Tinggal katne sekarang?

R: Haah.. Dah 3 bulan lebih. Keje kat S*** A***. Ni pun baru balik keje. Dalam kete lagi ni jem. Duk kat S******** umah aunty tapi selalu lepak N***** tido bilik Y**

me: owh.. keje kat S*** A*** ek? bagus r 2.. Dah ade kerjaye sendiri.

R: Alhamdulillah. Bolehlah bantu family. Keje situ gaji pun ok. awak dok mane sekarang?

me: Cam2 bagus r.. Em.. tempat dulu gak P***** D****.. Xde pindah tempat len pun..

R: Em, sy tngk Y** ni study teringat mase baru masuk U********* M***** dulu. P****

Rase kejap je. Dah grad. Dah keje.

me: Haha sekurang-kurang nye dah leh cari duit sendiri.. ok r 2.. Em A** salahkan sy sebab break ngan awak. Y** cam2 gak ke?

R: Y** ? A** ? diorang x cakap pape pun... Dulu2 ada. Baru2 ni ade jugak sy lepak dengan diorang. Just tanye gitu2 je

me: Ye ke? A** x habis2 salahkan sy. Yang peliknye nape pas setahun? Nape x dulu je.. Biar je r..sy malas nak pk dah.. Nak terus salahkan sy, suka ati diorang r

R: die salahkan macam mane? Betul ke niat die nak salahkan awak?

me: Em malas r nak cite. Msg die pun sy simpan g. Leh je forward kalau nak. Tp xpe r.. biar je.. mase sy hilang diri dulu, sy banyak pk. Sy dah letih r awak.. Banyak prob dalam hidup sy. Salah satu prob kite. Bile nak selesai? Sampai bile? Sy dah letih nak puaskan ati semua orang.. sy dah letih awak.. dah letih..

R: Astaghfirullah hal azim.Awak.. Cube kalau ade masalah cite. Bincang. Awak lari n pk sorang2 dapat penyelesaian ke? n selain dari masalah kite, ape lagi masalah?

me: Ntah r.. banyak sangat masalah. Ari 2 memang xleh nak pkpe dah. Sy lari.. N last2 nangis gak. Dah x tahan dah.. Sy xnak pk g, cukup r 2.. sy nak pk dri je. Dah letih pk orang len.. sy dah penat.. Mintak maap sebabkan sakitkan ati awak..

R: Tau pun!! buat ape awak pk bende2 remeh cam2. Macam mane air mata darah pun boleh ubah persepsi diorang kat awak? Bende yang dah lepas. Biar la lepas. Sy pun nak jalan ke depan je sekarang ni..

me: Bagus r cam2. Pas ari sy hilang 2, sy dah pk.. start ari 2, sy nak jalan atas jalan sy sendiri.. Nak pk diri sendiri je.. Biar r pe orang nak kate.. Sori awak, sy xnak janji pape kat awak g. Xnak bagi harapan kat awak g.. Kte teruskan hidup masing2 je pasni. Kalau awak jumpe someone yang lagi baik dari sy, terime je die.. Sy doakan awak bahagia..

R: Selame ni awak jalan atas sape? Kan dari dulu awak memang atas jalan awak? Kan dari dulu memang awak buat keputusan atas dasar ape yang awak rase? Nape awaknak pk2 lagi?

me: Sebab sy still rase bersalah wat cam2 kat awak.. Awak xtau kan? Sampai saat ni pun rase bersalah sy kat awak x pernah hilang. + bile A** cakap, awak cakap ngan gambar sy.. rase sedih je.. Apa yang sy dah wat kat awak? Nape awak jadi sampai cam2? Tapi sy dah xleh pendam dah awak.. Ari sy hilang, sy down gile. Dah xleh terime pape dah.. Ape yang orang cakap, salahkan sy accept je. Maafkan sy ek? takecare. Salam

... And our conversation just end like that. I dont know.. what happen to her after that.. R stop text me just like that, maybe she crying, or happy.. I really dont have any idea.. But for me, what I say is what I means.. I will walk on my own path after this.. And my past will always be my past..

That's Why Better To Be Cruel..

One of my friend said that I'm to kind, to nice.. and ask me to be more cruel. The other friend want me to keep been nice.. But for me, after what happen I think I will start to be cruel to peoples. Really will start it later. Now, I'm really tired doing all this things : take care other's heart, make sure they happy, concern for them.. but, at last what I got is hurt, hurt and hurt.. coz they repay that with lying to me about almost everythings.

I'm not stupid ok!! I have a brain that God give to me to think, to observe and to know what really happen.. Besides, I have learn more about all this things from my own experience.. the experience that hurt me a lot but until now I keep smiling.. try to make like nothing happen just bcoz I still keep in mind that they are my frends, even what they do to me is really hurt.. the story is below, happen couple years ago:

" L really like V very much, since in school. One of L friend T know about this and keep supporting L.. year and year, at last L can get closer to V.. but suddenly T start to contact V, with the reason that T want V to help T tackle V's friend. L that is pure at that time seem it as nothing.. What the stupid L.. About a month, L seen that V and T become much more closer, more than L closer to V. Realize that there have something between V and T, L ask them about it, but they say they just friend. Want to trust or not, L has no choice.. So L just said ok then. What the hell, after few month L got know something that's really shock him.. V and T is now a couple? What?? What is this? Where is gone the statement 'that they just friend'? L force V and what V can said is sorry, she just want to take care of L heart.. What the nice answer.. dont V realize that what she's done is hurting L ?? It is better if V said that there is something happen between V and T when L ask about it before.. Dont you think so? Just say if its true although the truth will make hurt. But it is better than pretend nothing happen and suddenly something more shocking happen.. Thanx to T and V, the person that L call friends.. stab L at the back.. make L realize that better to trust himself more than anybody, And until now L keep smiling when meet T and V, and still can talk to them nicely, make a joke with them, just bcoz L still know meaning of friends, although they dont know about it.."

Enjoy reading it?? that is the true story of my life. Dont say about V and T. But L is really me.. Want to believe or not, I let you to judge it. And I think maybe thing same like this will happen to me again. But the different is, this time I will get ready to face it. To all persons outside there that act like my friends, thanx to all of you.. you really good at act. And for me, that's why better to be cruel..

Time To Wake Up !!!

Hey kay_are!! what are you thinking until now? What are you doing until now? Enough is enough! Now it is the time for you to stop thinking about the others. Now, you must start to think about yourself. Realize it now. Stop to care about other peoples. Stop it!!! Just take care of your heart and ignore everythings. Maybe its seem cruel but what you had get until now is more cruel than that.

Start with R, Z, C... all this peoples only know to blame you based on their "clever thinking" but they never realize that they are totally wrong!! Without know nothing they want to blame you for everything? What are they thinking?? Come to your life suddenly to make you happy several of times and after that hurting you hundred of time. If that so, it is better for them not coming into your life rite? Keep in mind, only the several person deserve your nicest. Remember that!

Try your best to take care other peoples, try to be nice, friendly.. but what you get at last?? Nothing!! I repeated nothing!! Dont they have a heart to realize everything that you are doing is for them? So now, stop doing all this thing. You are not "Yun Jihu". Very different compare to him. It is time for show your cruelty. Although I know deep inside in your heart you will be teribble doing cruelty to other peoples. But, for now just pretend nothing happen. Just pretend..

So kay_are, it is time for you to wake up!!

Tetra-Fang - Dont You Think They Are Great??

Hi there.. now as you can see, I has go 1 step forward with this blog thing. Now my blog as the mp3. At last I can listen to the song in my own blog. Thanx for the MixPod for this gadgets. Using this gadget, It really help me a lot while I trying to insert all this songs. Haha.. lets talking about the song that I insert in my mp3 player.

Emm.. I really sure 97% or more of you never hear all this songs. Why ?? because all this come from the "Japan Hero" series, and I'm sure many of you will said that this kind of songs, that is use in the series that is been watching by childrens has a low quality and not suitable for the people with the age like us. Anything you say, I dont care coz for me sometimes, this kind of songs has more quality than other songs. If not, the producer will not take this songs as opening of the series rite??

Back to the Tetra-Fang. I'm really excited to talk about this band. For me, the singer of this band is quiet ok since he is not a singer, but an actor actually. This is a first time he sing for a band so.. it perform well on all this song, just my opinion. He know how to rock in the song like "Supernova", and also know to be sentimental in "Rainy Rose". So, for an actor that try to sing for the first time, he really do a great job.

But, one thing that disappointed me. Now this band is gone. Why?? because Tetra-Fang is considered a "limited band unit" and was form only to perform a song of one Japan Hero series and since the series is end, the band is also gone. It really make me feel unhappy coz I think this band has a lot of potential and can move on. Hope one day, they will collabrate again as the real band. Below is a name of Tetra-Fang's members, just for the info. Lastly, enjoy the song!!

Tetra-Fang's Members:

Koji Seto - vocals

Shuhei Naruse - keyboard

Yuji - lead guitar

Roy - bass

Ume - bass

Ayano - lead guitar

The War Will Begin But I ??

Firstly, dont be afraid, shock, or scared with the title that I use. It is just a metaphore for me. What I mean by that is test, and final exam that is just around of corner. If not mistaken, it will be held a month later. But I ?? am I ready for this exam?? am I really think I can success in this exam?? am I ready to answer the questions that will come out?? of coz the answer is no. I'm really sure that I am not ready for this exam. Maybe for the short test I'm ready, but for final exam, the answer is no.

Just dont look at me, look at you.. ask yourself the same question I ask myself, and compare. I'm sure a lot of you will have same answer with me.. sure rite?? but, maybe a few people will have "yes" for the answer.. wow!!.. how lucky they are know how to manage their time wisely.. I'm feel jealous with this kind of peoples.. why can't I do the same?? can you teach me how to manage the time?? I think I'm forget the way to do it..

Go back to the topic, my exam will be held on November. It is means that I have no enough time.. suddenly tension comes around me, plus with a lot of tutorial, assignment, and final project that must be finish as soon as possible.. and I have no idea how to finish all that.. thats really make me stress. But, I think I can get ready for this exam, if and only if I start to finish all my works and after that, focus with my study.. hope I can do it.. pray for my succeed..

When We Throw The Chance That Is Given

Salam.. just come home from open house one of my coursemate... The different is I dont know too much about my coursemate that held this open house... so I just go there, talk a few word to her/him, eat anything that I want there, meet her/his family, and done.. thats all.. so after finish with all that thing, I thinking and say to myself, is that all I can do??

Looking at the other friends, I know they seem so happy there.. a lot of pictures their taken, with a lot of jokes, happiness, enjoyable.. suddenly I feel very pity with myself.. Why ?? because this is firstime in my life i go to her/his house.. it is not because her/his not invited but me myself refuse to go there before this.. even several friends ask me to go there..

And as the result, as you can see, firstime I go and dont know what to do there.. Dont know want to talk with who and dont know how to make them realize that I exist there.. haha.. what the unlucky I am not use the years that God given to know all my friends.. feel like a stupid because refuse to involve with them before this.. like I throw away the chance that have been given to me..

Haha.. but I think positively and it is not to late to being closest with all my friends.. I will try to not throwing away the chance to know all of them that is given to me anymore.. bcoz i know that they all are good friends, only I dont know them well.. so to me.. better keep going to know all my friends before it is to late.. thats all..

Start With Bismillah..

Bismillahirahmanirahim.. assalamualaikum and hi to all people outside there, today is the first time i create this blog.. And also the first time i write something on it.. Nothing much to say.. just want to introduce you with my own page.. Why suddenly i create this thing? em.. i dont know actually.. haha

But.. a lot of people say, we can use this thing as our own diary.. thats mean we can write anything that keep thinking in our mind in this blog.. Anything including problems, laughter, sadness, and many other things.. so here it is.. my own blog that will show u what is the true meaning of life..and i call it ElementOfLife