What Are They Looking At ??

A week a go, suddenly there come sms in my nset. Thanx God it is not from R but someone else.. What?? sms from someone that call N.. open it and it say " I miss U, and even dream about U.." Oh my God.. What is happen? I think my life is not like this before. I think I never get such sms like that before.. And suddenly I think and think.. When all this start to happen? When "they" start looking at me? When?? When?? And I try recall my past..

"About couple of years ago, this person M*** K******* N*** just a normal person, and until now he is normal person. But the different is at that time, nobody didn't notice about him. He also don't know why.. Minus student in his class, and minus student that has same age with him. Try to ask other students, his senior or his junior, do they know him? Exactly 95% will say "NO".. Believe me sometimes he feel jealous with his own friend who is so famous and has a lot of fans, receive a lot of gifts, chocolates, mug and so on.. Sometimes he ask himself "There is nobody that want to know me? What is different between me and others?" But still nothing change so he just accept it as a fate.

Matrix life.. maybe this is the starting for all this.. A month in matrix still the same. But after that, it start to be different. He start to receive a lot of sms from strangers that want to know him. Some sms such as "Leh x nak kawan ngan awak?" "Leh kite jadi kawan?" "Awak N*** kan? nak kawan leh?" start to full his inbox.. What is happen? suddenly they want to know him.. Feel strange but for him that is never receive such sms, he feel so lucky and simply he agree to be friend with all of them.. But only just a friend.. not more than that.. So from when come N ?? from where come N ??

N - this person suddenly call him when he is in matrix, and N says that she is friend of him's friend. So he accept it as a friend. At first N seem not really interested to be friend with him. So he just let it be, plus at that time N has a bf.. Until N break up, she start to getting close with him. N start to change a word from "aku ko" to " I U".. and start using word syg, n wateva.. He ask N why she use all this word and what N says it is normal use "syg"with her friend.. So, he accept it as ok. Until the day N says that she really fall in love with him and will do anything.. This really make him shock. What happen suddenly?? About a month and a month, he try to say that we can only be friend and he can't accept it, but N still not give up. He after that ask help from his sis to settle this problem and it seem it work.. but it is not.. a month after N stop text him, N start to text him back.. and she said it is okay if he not love N but N will always love him and this continue until now.."

End with the past.. Maybe at the past, I really want this, Really njoy with it. But rite now, I tired with it.. really tired.. And still questioning myself.. What is happen actually?? Why suddenly me, the person who people didn't notice about my existence in a past, now can suddenly attract people to know me? And can fall in love with me? R, N, etc..etc.. They.. What are they looking at me now? What are they seen from me now? What have I got now that I didn't get in the past? What is different between me now and past? What is it? I still the same person either in past, present or future.. So... What are they looking at??