Good Bye HVAC..

New semester finally come, with the new spirit I enter my first elective class, subject about air-cond. Unfortunately, what I expect from that class is totally different. The chapter, the topic is out of my thinking. But, ok.. it still fine for me..

Then the lecturer make the statement, the subject is realy tough.. Suddenly feel scared, but still ok. We must buy our own book, still fine. There is no copy of lecture note, means student must write their note themselves, still fine. Must buy triangular set and long ruler, also still fine.

After that, discuss about tutorial class. At first lecturer decide that we can choose our group. But suddenly our class leader give the idea to arrange group by follow matrix number. Sound brilliant rite? But for me this is really not fine. Why? Let see the situation exactly:

" The tutorial class will be held on Tuesday and Friday. As I know, 100% student will avoid to have a class on Friday. Only few malay students take that class, about 13 and less. From my experience, most malay peoples which is male has a name start with M while female mostly start with N or S. The other races usually has name start between A and E. Lecturer assume that number of students take that class is 40. So tutorial group will be 4 and 10 persons in each group. 2 in Tuesday and 2 in Friday. Matrix number is refer to the first aphabet of our name, means that almost malay student will get matrix number between 25 - 40. Conclusion, malay students will get tutorial class on Friday"

But.. still cant do anything about it. Other races totally agree with it. Lecturer himself also agree with it, coz that idea is easy and simple to do. Plus, lecturer also come out with the statement to strength that idea. So, the only thing left is.. good bye HVAC..

It Is Okay For Me

Even I dont know exactly the reason, but..

It is okay for me if you want to keep ignoring me as long as you really feel comfortable with it. But one thing, please dont do that to the other friends coz Im sure they all really care for you. And if you start ignoring them too, they will hurt so much.

It is okay for me if you want to running away from me, as long as you happy doing it. Just run and continue run as far you can go. But, dont forget to find me whenever you need friend coz I will always there whenever you need me.

It is okay for me if you want to avoiding me for long time, as long as you remember me. You say that you need time rite? I dont know why you need that thing. What can I say, just take a lot of time that you need. Maybe with that, you will be fine.

And last but not least...

It is okay for me if you want to do anything that you think rite. But, please be sure about it first. We have known each other for a long time. It is okay for you ignore, run and avoid me just because something that you not sure? If it is, it is okay for me as long you feel okay with it too..

Even I dont know exactly the reason.

Hope They Are Just Fine..

All of them are the person I always text before. But, I think there is long time no hear about their story. Just dont want disturbing them. But hope that all of them are in good condition.. Lets meet them..

A - Rite now the only thing that I get from A is goodnite wish. Just that.. No more joking, no more story to share. I dont understand actually, why A keep ignoring me? And run away from me. Have no idea at all. But if A really happy doing all that, it is okay for me then. I just can accept it..

D - D said that I am D bestfriend (it is valid until now?) I think there is long time dont text D. Sorry, but to be honest I dont know how to start text D. Coz before this I always text D so a lot of topics has been discuss so for now I have no idea. Haha. But it is not mean that I forget D. Always remember D. Hee..

F - To make it clearly, F is the person that responsible for the existence of this blog. And for me, F is my mentor in this blog things. Haha.. I remember one things. Last time I text F, I ask one question but until now F still not answer it. So please answer that question ok? Coz I really curious to know.. Haha

Z - My crazy friend, really crazy but for me, Z is a friend that is really friend. In other words, true friend. But the fact is F still crazy. But Z seem quite shy in front of me (shy shy cat maybe)Last time I text Z is before Z go vacation. So where is my souvenier? Dont forget it, and please hurry okay!! Just joking..

So lastly, hope they are just fine..

Princess

Today at home. As usual dont know what to do. You know Im at S*** R**** (means no mall, no fast food restaurant) that I can go. So, I decide to do something that a long time I didnt do. Guess what? Reading novel (You all can start laughing now). Im reading novel? Haha.. Me myself didnt believe it, but wateva. Sometimea I love doing it. So I search at the cupboard and suddenly see it. My one and only novel I buy by myself (other novels, credit to my sister).

Princess, that is the title for the novel that I choose to read. Written by Bikash Nur Idris. Have you ever heard or read it? For me, it really attract me coz it has a nice love story inside it (90% novel will tell about love, so just accept it). I dont want to tell about the whole story, so just find and read it by yourself (Can borrow me if you want) Haha.

Enough that I say, the love story inside it is very sweet and nice. Annoying and player guy meet talkative gurl, that kind of story really can attract me to read it until last pages. There have a lot of funny and touching scene. But I dont like the ending coz it has a very sad ending. Maybe thats why it is unique. Different than the other novels that always ending like this "And they live happily ever after".

How fast I can finish read that 255 pages just about an hour (If I can do the same with reference book, I can be genius) Haha.. Finish reading, I think and questioning myself, That kind of love, is that really exist in this real world? If it is, am I deserve to get it? Maybe not coz Im not good enough to get that kind of love. Haha.. How far Im thinking.. Em.. But for now, congratz to Bikash Nur Idris that successfully attract me to read that novel, Princess.

Just A Few Days

Just a few days, my new semester will start. Times run very quickly. Suddenly feel that I have not enough rest yet. In a few days, I will be student again. Final year, means that I cannot play anymore. And of coz lots more work, assignment to come. Dont forget thesis. Wahh.. Think about it suddenly make me tension, scared.. Hahaha. Just a few days..

The Story Of E L F

E - Im sure all people outside there will avoid to get E. Why? because get it will cause harmful in their life. And also will cause more troubles. Me myself dont want E in my life. But I must agree with something. Sometimes, when E become the F, It will be the true F than the existence F, and if E become L, Im sure it will be eternal.

L - I dont know too much about L, and still learn about it. But one thing for sure, people always want to find it. They say L will bring happiness. And can make our life complete? Is that true? Maybe sometimes. But losing L will make people losing F. The worse is sometimes, people that losing L will turn the L become the E.

F - For me, F is important in our life. So that why there has a quote says that we can find thousand F but avoid to have E. Totally agree with it. F that become the L has their own pros and cons. Maybe there have happiness and sadness. But the F that turn into E is very dangerous than the E itself. Why? coz they know the weakness of each others.

So why I type all these? Nothing. Just want to share something that running in my mind..

Silent

Suddenly,it comes again.. With a ring appear from my phone.. and I ignore it. Then the first message that say suddenly she remember me (Suddenly? yeah rite). Few minutes later the second message comes, contain the chorus from song Di Penghujung Rindu by Jamal Abdillah. Seem touching.. but I've done with it. Sorry but the only thing I can do is remain silent..

Can I Fall In Love?

I am a person who experience love only just once. And after that thing ends. I dont feel anything.. Regret.. Sad.. Hurt.. I dont actually feel all that. The only thing I feel is guilty bcoz I think I had hurt someone. Can I fall in love?

I am a person who always choose friendship more than love if I have been decide to choose.. And Im sure some of my bestfriends know that I already sacrifice love 3 times since Im know what love is. Can I fall in love?

I am a person who think that love is not means to have it. In love, it is better to give more than take. For me, It is ok if someone that I like live happily even it is not with me, since we always hope the best for someone we love rite? Can I fall in love?

I am a person who is rite now dont want to take seriously about love. It is not because I scared to be hurt. I dont care if either 10, 10, 100 or 1000 peoples hurt me but to hurt someone again is what I dont want to. Can I fall in love?

So anyone? Have you decide it? Can I fall in love?

Really Dont Understand

Really dont understand.

Why? Why you just send the same message everyday and after that remain silent? Why you not reply any message after that? Why you act like that? Why?

When? When you start to be like this? When you start to become more sensitive? When this all started? When?

What? What have I done to you actually? What is the wrong thing I done to you? What should I do to fix it? What?

Really dont understand.

Unexpected

Remember when I say we can only plan? It happen again today. Suddenly my family want to go here and decide to stay for a day. So rite now Im still here.. in A*****. Really unexpected. If I know these thing will happen earlier, maybe I can plan with my frens to go out anywhere once again. But what can I say. Im just human. Dont expected it will happen. So rite now the only thing I can do is stay in the house and update my "house" huh..

We Can Only Plan..

Human.. can only plan to do something or decide something, but GOD is the only one that can make it come true or not. It always happen like that rite? Plan something and lastly something happen. It happen to me just a few hours ago.. The story begin from the date:

15December09 - Dont know what to do. So I decide to live at cousin house at A*****. and my first plan is to hang out with one of my fren. No need to ask. Of coz it is a girl and of coz just two of us. I dont think it is wrong only two of us hang out together as long we both know to takecare of ourselves rite? One reason I like to hang out with her bcoz she trust me. As the proof, she is ok hang out with me although it just two of us. Second reason bcoz we did not hang out together for a long times.

16December09 - I text her to plan what we gonna do. After few sms, we decide to hang out on 17 Dec at T**** S*****. Just do some window shoping, eat and watch movie. Suddenly, the other frens text and ask me to karaoke with them. Dont know what to do but think this side and that side is my fren, it is important to treat both equally. So I manage the time to make sure that I can hang out with both sides.

17December09 - At 7.47am she text me to confirm about our plan. Seem it will be like what we plan. But it is totally wrong. 8.11am once again she text me and said that she has to go back to her hometown at T****** bcoz there have emergency case. So all my plan before this become ruin and I end up hang out with the other frens until nite. Something that I not plan at first. Haha. But it still entertain so thanx to them.

So, it is true, we as a human can only plan what to do, but it still GOD that will decide weither it will work or not. What I plan at first end up with something that I not expected. Quiet funny.. Haha. To her, next time we try to plan something again ok? But remember, we can only plan..

To You

To you (you know who you are) - I just want to say, if anyone text me and I did not reply it, it only bcoz of 3 reason : I dont want to, I have no credit or I already sleeping. But rite now, only one up to five persons that I not reply bcoz I dont want to and almost of you know who is that persons. So dont worry about that.

To you (you know who you are) - Sorry coz not reply your message lately. But seriously at that time I have no credit to reply it. It is not bcoz I dont want to but my credit make me cant do it. so plese understand coz I try my best to understand people that I text but they dont reply it for one day, two days and almost a week.

To you (you know who you are) - You also had done the same thing to me before. At first I also feel something like "geram" but after a while I try to understand it. So please do the same. I have a reason if I dont reply it and it is not bcoz I dont want to.. lastly forgive me if I do wrong. Thats all..

Hate To Waiting,,

Today is 16 December 2009 and rite now I still not sleeping yet. Why? It is easy.. bcoz I notice that 16 December 2009 is a release date for 2 singles album that I'm waiting about 2 months ago. So rite now I start checking the website to make sure it has been released.

So what is relation between my story and title above? Em.. as simple as that, I check the website about every minutes and still not have any news about that singles.. So when they want to release it?? Please do it fast.. really hate to waiting.

Thanx For The Reminder!!

One day, I realize that my nset credit show a value of RM0.00. So bcoz there is no credit left, I decide to keep it. and the next day, I get a sms from a fren. Just a short one. But sorry can't reply it. It is wrote like this

"Woyt. Apa ko wat kt umah hah? Online p0n idek.. Update la umah ko ngan sgale aktvt cti ko. Btw, ak dh open blk....."

Haha, now I realize that is long time I dont typing anything here. Thanx for the reminder. But, it is not bcoz Im too lazy to write anything. The problem is I dont know what must I typing rite now. In other word, I have no idea.. haha

Neway, thanx for remind me with that message. Maybe after this I will try to do something interesting such as run away, jump from the bulding or other things.. haha. Just joking.. I will try my best to update this thing as much as possible.. but for now, thanx for the reminder!!

Second Chance..

"A long time ago in school, there has someone call s enter same school as n.. n just want to be s friend but at the time he is too shy. GOD know and give n chance by put n and s in same group during their visit to Melaka. But n not use that chance so until now he still not be s friend.

Now, with the fb n has meet s again. So this time n really want to be friend with s. want s to be friend that is really2 friend. What its mean is a friend that can chating, ym, sms, hang out, happy n etc.. so here n want s to be n friend, just like the other friends. Just that, thanx.

nomenclature: n= me, s= u, so let be my friend. haha. Salam."

Believe it or not, the malay version of this story, I send as a message to someone that I really want to be friend with, since the 1st time she enter my school.. Haha, but dont misunderstand it, it is not about feeling and not about like or love her. Just.. I like to be friend with her. Just that only, no other reason.

And.. since GOD give me second chance to be friend with her, I think this time I should not let this opportunity go. Coz I dont know weither I will get the third chance after this or not. So after think a while, I decide to grab it by sending the mesage above to her. And as the result, she reply it and my wish to be friend with her is fullfil. Thanx GOD for this second chance..

Bored.. Really Bored!!

Emm.. I still in holiday, but it is really bored.. All that I plan before holiday seem cannot be done. I have to be a personal driver to my sister. What is not good about it is a driver without salary!! Oh GOD, please open my sis heart to make her take a driver licence. So I can be free and can go anywhere I want.

Human is complicated. So do I. Dont know why.. Rite now I enjoy my holiday peacefully but it still not satisfy me. Suddenly I hope that there will come some problems in my life. So I have something that I can think of. What the crazy thinking that I have.. Have a peacefull life but still want to ask for some problems.. Hey me!! wake up!!

But this is the reason why I write this post. Coz im bored!!!!!! really2 bored. Dont know what to do. Dont know what I can do. So what I do? Easy, rite anything that I want here and say that Iam really2 bored!!! really!!!!!

I Have No Idea

Rite now, I feel that something is happen in my life. Something that will change my life.. I am not sure about it but I think what I think is true. Dont know want to believe it or not.. Just no idea.. Maybe have some idea with it but maybe just pretending know nothing.. Em.. Or maybe I really have no idea..

They Stupid Or Smart? ?

Yesterday, just arrive from my village at K****** J****, T******, P****. It is very crowded at the highway, a lot of cars, and other vehicle.. I can understand this situation because yesterday is Sunday, so it is normal since today maybe there have some people already working. But what disappoint me is the attitude of most drivers..

What they think with themselves? cant they have what we call " SABAR".. where is their patient? Really tension with almost of them, they dont realize what they done is make the jammed situation become more jammed. What the hell with all of them. Really feel sorry with my dad that always be a good driver..

They think they smart, but for me they are stupid.. really are.. What they do is very dangerous to other drivers. They take for granted with the traffic light, use it wrongly and use a junction as their shortcut. The worse is although it still jammed, some drivers still want to be a racer. True, They races to their own grave..

And the result for me and my family, our journey from my village to my home become 9 hours!! Thats why I say that they are very stupid.. Dont they have mind? Dont they realize make 2 lane into 4 lane will make the jammed become worse? What the hell with all of them.. Crazy drivers. how can they get licences? They stupid or smart?

Am I Change??

Week and week.. some of my friends say to me that they think I am change.. Emm.. is it true? Me myself dont know about it. I think I am still me, the same person. So really dont understand what they means by I am change.. Ok2.. let discuss about it in my own opinion..

Physically - For me, in physical.. there is no change.. Same as last year.. But to be honest, I really want to change this. I want to look more fit. Since a lot of people says that I am thin. So of coz I want to increase my weight. Besides, for your info my BMI is 18 only. Really need something to make me become bigger.. haha

Mentally - Em, really not sure about this. But maybe there have some changing in my thinking way. Hey, I am 22 now!! So of coz I want to look more matured with my thinking. It is a time to stop think like a childish and try to think with more rational.

Emotionally - Haha.. to be honest. Some time I dont really understand about what is emotionally? It is a feeling? If it is, what kind of feeling? Hatred? Love? Wateva but if true that it is about feeling, I dont know weither I have change or not.. So later.. Ahaks!!

Personally - Consider as my personality, I think this part really change a lot. When I small, what I wear is depend on my mom choices. But now it is depend from me. What I wear, what I use. And I think now I feel comfortable with my own personality. So it is ok for me then.

Attitude - I am me, but maybe there is some change in it. For this, no one can blame me. I am only human. And my act depend on situation and if there is some changing in my attitude, sure there is a reason. Beside, it is based on my past experience. So please understand this..

So.. there is what I can say about the changing in myself. Maybe there have some that is change. But for me there is nothing wrong to do some changing for ourself. As long it is a change to become the better person rite? Thats all..

The Another One

Huh.. what can I say, suddenly someone add me in one of my social networking site. And that person is another person I try to avoid.. since that person really make me scared with the words came from that person mouth.. Hmm.. about few days I keep thinking about what should I do that will satisfy that person..

I know deep in that person heart, of coz that person want me to approve, isn't it? Coz I think there is no human in this world for example A add someone at any networking site example B and hope B will ignore or reject A. But the problem is, what will happen if I approve that person? It is better or it will be worse after I approve it?

I think about few days and for me the best thing to do is ignore it. Sorry to that person but it is the best I can do. I dont want to add some more trouble by approve that person. Besides, I know that person more than anyone. I dont want to make my mind crazy to think what will happen after I approve. So it is better to ignore it, the another one..

Spend Or Earn??

Hi there.. finally the thing call holiday has come.. but really dont know what I want to do for this holiday.. In my mind only set with 2 things. Either to njoy this holiday or find some work to do.. Hmm.. 2 choices that has their own pros and cons..

If I decide to enjoy this holiday, it is means to spend money. But as the result, I can entertain myself.. Besides, a lot of places that I can go.. beach, mall, resort, theme park. A lot of it. There I can relaxing my mind and myself. So maybe njoy this holiday is a good choice to pick.

But if I choose to work, maybe I will not have time to entertain myself. Maybe need to wake up earlier in the morning. But, what I will get later is receive salary and can increase my money. And after that I also can njoy like the others.

So, what should I do actually? spend or earn some money?? or maybe do both of it.. Hmm.. think and think.. and I decide to decide it later.. daa..

Finally Over, Before That..

Huh.. after a hard week, finally it is over.. Em.. now it is time to take some rest and rest.. But thinking of it, am I perform good enough? I hope so.. I sacrifice my sleep time try to memorize everything everyday and everynight.. I hope what I done to face that week is enough. But for now dont want to talk about it anymore.. Let talk about happy things.

So, now is relaxing time.. and time to go back to my hometown (Yeayy!!!) But before that, still have some thing to do.. Enjoy?? haha.. everyday I have enjoyable life so maybe no need to think about it. My clothes? yes!! a lot of clothes need to wash before come home but feel very lazy to do it.. Who want volunteer to help me? Anyone? haha.

Last thing is to go to department and settle some problem about my presentation.. Huh.. I hope it was not to late. Really dont notice about it until the day I came to department to send the cd of my presentation slide.. Hope the sister2 at the office will help me. Hehe.. And after that, my hometown here I come!! Happy holiday!!

What I Want..

To anyone who dont know about it, about few hours ago I just comeback from my hometown. Some friends say it is crazy thing that I do. Go back just to take my calculator that I left at home even only few days I will sit for final exam. Haha maybe it is true but anything that we do always has "HIKMAH" rite? Em.. 1 day at home and I learn it is time for me to think what I really want..

What I want.. forget the past - first thing that come out from my mind is this thing. Yes!! it is true. I want to forget my past. Dont want to think about it anymore.. My past is everything related to me in the past. Problems, ex, enemy.. wateva.. For real, I don't want to think about it. Rite now, what I want to do is to walk on my own path. I will try my best to look forward and never turn back.

What I want.. hardworking - this thing is my best "friend" since I am in standard 1. but after I be a university student, I notice that it has leave me. Maybe it is hard for me to get it back, but I will try and try to find that hardworking. I know I really need it because it help me a lot to make me become me rite now... So anything I will do in order to get it back.

What I want.. love ? - hmm.. it is true I need it? Love from my family, my true friends.. I really need it. But love from someone that we call lover, I dont think I want it rite now. It is enough for me to think about it. I dont care to be hurt but to hurt someone again, I dont want to do it. Maybe when the time come and I meet someone that GOD created for me, I will think about it again but for now nope.

What I want.. successful - of coz I want it!! To be a successful person is my dream since I am small. Really feel jealous with some peoples that really success in their life. Have their own company. Live their life easily. No need to worry about debt and etc etc.. Hope someday I will be like them. So to achieve that, I must work hard isn't it? After that I can also think about Caldina, Veyron and Viper rite? haha.

What I want.. care other people - I cannot avoid from doing this. Sorry to say but it is in my blood since I have heart. My friends also care for me so I want to return the favor. Besides, I know some close friends really need someone to care about them. So I want to be that person as long as I could until they found someone that really care for them more than me. For some that is not comfortable with it, I will stop doing it to them. So dont worry about it.

What I want.. new me - Just a few months to go and I will finish my study.. INSYAALLAH. So now it is suitable time to change myself physically and mentally. First is to increase my weight since many peoples say that I am too thin. Me myself agree with that. Haha. I think I do some exercise but maybe that still not enough. So must work out double after this. Mentally, I want to be more confident person, brave to speak in front of peoples.. So anyone can help?? haha.

Rite now, that is the things that I really want. I have a lots more actually but for now it is enough. Maybe some peoples also think the same things like me. Maybe the others has different thing that they want inside their mind. Bad things or good things, anything can be but hope it is a good things. And for me, I will try and try and try until I got what I want..

4/11, My Choice Is ??

Today is 3/11. It is means that tomorrow is 4/11. It is a birthday of her/him. I dont know what to do. Come in my mind is 3 choices. And from these three, I need to choose 1 as my decision. And what will I choose?? I keep thinking about it until now.. and there only few times left..

1. Wish her/him birthday - It is a first choice that I have. It seem very easy rite? Just text happy birthday and send to her/him. But for me, it is not. Wish her/him like give her/him hope. Last time I decide to wish her/him, her/him ask me to fulfil one of her/him wishes. I dont know what to do so I just keep silent. So now, it is hard for me to choose this.

2. No need to wish her/him birthday - Second choice that I can choose as my decision. It seem cruel but maybe this is the best choice that I can choose. Some of my friends that know about this also said it is better for me not to wish her/him, since her/him hope something from me. Maybe not wish her/him will make her/him realize to stop hope something from me.

3. Ask friend to wish her/him birthday - The third and the final choice. At first, this is what I want to do. Ask help from my friend to wish her/him birthday on behalf of me. Maybe for me it is a best choice. Her/him know I wish her/him and at the same time no need to wish by myself. But one said doing this is more cruel than not wish her/him at all.

So, at last what will I choose from this three choices? Wish? No need to wish? Ask friend to wish? Em.. it seem easy to decide but for me it is hard.. Even I feel hatred to her/him, still very tough for me to choose what should I do. And the time is keep running.. So finally, my choice is ??

I Choose..

My life today start with the happiness. I done with my thesis's proposal.. (Finally), want to pay debt, but ZK said let consider it as a treat, no need to pay.. (Thanx!!), my father bank in some money.. (Thanx a lot!!), eat with MAKZ at secret recipe.. (Delicious), short sms with my sis AA (Funny), have some karaoke (Fun), DO celebrate besday (Congratz!!). Everything seem to be fine until "that person" text me.. just a simple one:

OnCe U ReCeiVeD tHiS sMs

a) CaLL mE iF U LoVe Me

b) MsCaLL iF u CaRe

c) SeND BaCk tHiS sMS iF u LiKe Me

d) seNd mE a JoKe iF u A FrEn

e) Do NotHiNG iF u HaTe Me

Hmm.. what is the reason "that person" send me such sms? What is "that person" expect me to do? To choose? If "that person" think I choose (a), it totally wrong. How about to choose (b), (c) or (d)? At past, it is maybe but after "that person" show it "honesty" to me, say a lot of "nice word" to me and "praise" me a lot, without any regret I choose (e). Sorry to say but my decision is final. So to "that person": I choose to Do NotHinNG !!

Just My Opinion..

Lately bz with assignment and bla bla bla.. Now quite relaxing and want to do some update with this thing but really dont know what to write, and suddenly her/him give me the idea to write about her/him. Maybe her/him just joking with it but maybe it is a good idea. Few times later, a friend of her/him challange me to write about her/him for real.. Emm.. I ask her/him one more time and her/him said that there is not much to say about her/him. Maybe, but why not I try it? A challenge for me rite? So here it is.. Just my opinions..

Drifter, first thing that came in my mind about her/him is this word. Haha.. what can I say, her/him is a very good driver. Or maybe "very good" driver. The word that always come out in my mouth "laju gile bawak kete, ntah bape speed trap die dah dapat" With the speed of car about 130km/h, her/him can turn the journey that take about one and half an hour into less than fourty minutes. Believe it coz it is true.

Independent, for me this really suite her/him. I can see it from my eyes that her/him can stand alone with her/him own feet. Her/him can do whatever that her/him want without need help from anyone. What can I say, her/him is strong enough. Maybe the past has taugh her/him to be such person. But past is past.. so to her/him, no need to worry because rite now if her/him cannot stand alone, there have peoples that will help her/him to stand back.

Active, what is actually means?? Is her/him really an active person? Em.. maybe if I relate it with some topics. Travelling using cars.. her/him is very good with it. KL, Perak, Selangor.. just say it, any place can. Eating.. very active one. Everyday in her/him life is full with eating. Breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and even supper. Very active eater.. haha. Snaping and posing. No need to be teach, no need to be ask. Just turn on the camera and here it is, picture of her/him is ready.

None of my business, favourite word of her/him. One of the attitude of her/him. Dont want to interfere with the others problem. Dont want to involve with others matter. Just take care of her/him matters. But the good thing her/him can be a good listener. So it is enough rite? Just share the problems and we will feel release. But her/him will not force. If want to story, just go on but if don't want, it is okay for her/him.

Angry, sorry to say this but her/him is really angry person. Haha.. But the nice thing with this angry her/him. Everyone like to disturbing her/him, like to make a joke with her/him. It is entertain disturbing her/him as long her/him is not really angry. I repeated not really angry. Means that her/him is not angry for real. If her/him is really angry and at that time try to disturbing her/him.. Don't want to say, I already got my lesson.. haha.

So.. here it is, a few opinions about her/him. Only that I can say. Only that I can write. Want to say more but don't have too much idea.. Haha.. but I think for me it is enough. To her/him dont take it in the heart. It just my opinions. Maybe different peoples have different opinions about her/him. But for me, this is what I can see about her/him from the first time I know her/him until now. So last time I want to say. Just my opinions..

24/7 - Manipulative VS Love

Firstly, credit to M.A.K.Z. for introduce this mv to me.. For me, it is very great mv and everyone should see it.. haha. The title is That Guy's Girl from korean group 24/7. At first I really don't understand about the story from this mv. But after few times watching it, I think I understand.. Simple, just be manipulative to succeed.. to be the last winner.

Forget everything and use every chances that we see in front of us.. use it or in other word, take for granted with it. It is true rite? Nowadays every peoples do it. Kick other peoples in order to be on the top. Just see the 4th guy in this mv, just be manipulative he make 3 guys fight with each others until death.. The world is really cruel. If we feel hesitate to do it, at last we will be the biggest loser.

This mv also tell us some fact about love. Really love the quotes use in this mv. (Love has come but no one know it came, We simply see the love disappearing),(Love is the devil, fire, heaven and hell, Pleasure, pain, grief and regret coexist there),(The love which is mixed with the hatred is stronger than love hatred),(If a man attains to the top of love, It is sufficient to solve the hatred of millions of people),(There is no remedy for love but to love more)

And the last word from the 4th guy after he easily kill the girl, (If you want the meat prize, you have to take responsibility until the end. Don't you agree?) So just think about it. Agree or not, it is up to you. Manipulative VS Love, which is much stronger? which will be the winner? And lastly, enjoy this mv!!

What Are They Looking At ??

A week a go, suddenly there come sms in my nset. Thanx God it is not from R but someone else.. What?? sms from someone that call N.. open it and it say " I miss U, and even dream about U.." Oh my God.. What is happen? I think my life is not like this before. I think I never get such sms like that before.. And suddenly I think and think.. When all this start to happen? When "they" start looking at me? When?? When?? And I try recall my past..

"About couple of years ago, this person M*** K******* N*** just a normal person, and until now he is normal person. But the different is at that time, nobody didn't notice about him. He also don't know why.. Minus student in his class, and minus student that has same age with him. Try to ask other students, his senior or his junior, do they know him? Exactly 95% will say "NO".. Believe me sometimes he feel jealous with his own friend who is so famous and has a lot of fans, receive a lot of gifts, chocolates, mug and so on.. Sometimes he ask himself "There is nobody that want to know me? What is different between me and others?" But still nothing change so he just accept it as a fate.

Matrix life.. maybe this is the starting for all this.. A month in matrix still the same. But after that, it start to be different. He start to receive a lot of sms from strangers that want to know him. Some sms such as "Leh x nak kawan ngan awak?" "Leh kite jadi kawan?" "Awak N*** kan? nak kawan leh?" start to full his inbox.. What is happen? suddenly they want to know him.. Feel strange but for him that is never receive such sms, he feel so lucky and simply he agree to be friend with all of them.. But only just a friend.. not more than that.. So from when come N ?? from where come N ??

N - this person suddenly call him when he is in matrix, and N says that she is friend of him's friend. So he accept it as a friend. At first N seem not really interested to be friend with him. So he just let it be, plus at that time N has a bf.. Until N break up, she start to getting close with him. N start to change a word from "aku ko" to " I U".. and start using word syg, n wateva.. He ask N why she use all this word and what N says it is normal use "syg"with her friend.. So, he accept it as ok. Until the day N says that she really fall in love with him and will do anything.. This really make him shock. What happen suddenly?? About a month and a month, he try to say that we can only be friend and he can't accept it, but N still not give up. He after that ask help from his sis to settle this problem and it seem it work.. but it is not.. a month after N stop text him, N start to text him back.. and she said it is okay if he not love N but N will always love him and this continue until now.."

End with the past.. Maybe at the past, I really want this, Really njoy with it. But rite now, I tired with it.. really tired.. And still questioning myself.. What is happen actually?? Why suddenly me, the person who people didn't notice about my existence in a past, now can suddenly attract people to know me? And can fall in love with me? R, N, etc..etc.. They.. What are they looking at me now? What are they seen from me now? What have I got now that I didn't get in the past? What is different between me now and past? What is it? I still the same person either in past, present or future.. So... What are they looking at??

They Are So Sweet

Today, comeback to house. Bored.. so online fb.. Emm.. there only have several peoples online.. Since nothing to do, try to read the previous comments and suddenly found this. Really first time see this thing.. Suddenly make me touching and want to drop some tears.. they are really sweet.. so happy to meet them in my life.. Now I know there have peoples really concern with me.. Thanx!!

na -wer is he ??? huhuhu.. pliz kol me if u see him k.. =(

do : =(

do : sy risau kat die jgk~~

na : do : hurm.. what shud we do ??? wat happen nie.. haizz

do : die g karok ke.. ? ari tu die tension g karok~~

na : do : tatau.. hurm.. penat da cari die kat bawah tikar.. tp tade

do : bwh tikar..? cissss~~

fr : bgs~! tlg laa crik cepat.. ak dh r sgt penat, bsuh kete, kemas umah.. beli brg, n xmakan lg sbb risaukan org~!

na : nape ??? aku cari guinea aku la..

na : fr : huhu cari mane ?? aku pun tatau.. wat a bad fren aku nih.. =,(

fr : ape pulak ko.. xde xde.. ak yg slh niey... ak kene crik die weyh~~ hueee... mane die ilang.. ?

na : huhu... aku pun ade salah gak ke ?? tatau la.. tade sape tau die g mane.. aku sms pun senyap je

fr : kol pun xdpt~~ wpun die dh besar dan seorg lelaki, tp.. aku musykil~~

na : huhu.. sempat lak ko wat lawak.. huhu.. memg la.. die kan gagah perkase.. tapi mcm2 leh jd kat KL ni

do : aku yg salah~~

na : do : nape lak??? huhhu..

do : aku yg angin ngan die smpai die bwk diri~~

na : do : hurm.. mb salah paham je ni.. tape2.. bg die mase..

And I'm sure other than this 3 person, I have a lot more friend that really concern with me.. other than my family's member.. (zk, si, ha, ms, ak, etc..) I really appreciate to know all of you guyz!! Only GOD can pay what you had done.. So to all of you, thanx a lot for being my friends..

It Is Over Or Not??

Yesterday, when I go to stall to have something to eat.. one message come to my inbox. And when I open it, just a simple one, from my ex. It says "4hari lg..aniversary kte awk..2thn...". Suddenly I get confuse, what its mean by aniversary? So I show the message to two of my friends and this is a response that I get: "X setel2 g ke hal ngan die?" "Ko g je r celebrate" n this make me more confuse.

I try to think and I'm sure there is no aniversary on that day.. I receive the message on 15hb10 and if it says 4 days its mean 19hb10.. What happen during that day? First time I receive a call from her is on 20hb10.. how lucky she call me on that day if not, I'm sure will not answer the phone. After that, we declare on 18hb11. And the truth is we are break so how can be aniversary?

So what will happen on 19hb10? aniversary for what? I keep questioning myself the same question and to makesure about it, at last I decide to ask her, just to know. I never realize the decision to ask her about the event on that day is a fool decision. Really didn't expect that what I get from her is a words that make me want to jump from a building. And that make me questioning myself: "It is over or not??"

She Said...

She said.. that I never think of her after we break.. Is that true? If so, why I still keep the gifts that she gave me? Why I still ask peoples that know her, is she alright? is she happy? And why I still keep some of the photos that is most memorable with me? Why??

She said.. that I do a decision just for myself.. Is that true? If so, why I still thinking the result that I got from the decision I make? Why I still question myself that I do is right or wrong? And why I still blame myself after I made the decision? Why??

She said.. that I never try to save our relationship.. Is that true? If so, why I dont want her to forget me after we break? Why I still want her to contact me after that? And why I ask her to be my friend first. Why??

She said.. that now she really want to forget me.. Is that true? If so, why she always asking me weither I still love her or not? Why she still want me to give her hope? And why she still want to know what I'm doing now? Why??

She said.. that I will not get a person that can love me very2 much like she does.. Is that true? If so, is that means I will live alone after this? Without someone special in my life? If the God create me with no one to be my someone, I will take that as my fate..

And what I want to say, thanx for her for being honest with me after couple of years..

My Past Will Always Be My Past..

Em.. Hi.. long time not updated this thing. Very busy lately, with the test and assignment.. Em.. just want to write about one thing that happen to me. Suddenly "My Past" that known as R try to call me.. I dont know what to do.. so I just let it.. After R ending her call, I text her.. and the conversation of us is as below...

me: Em.. nape ek?

R: Saje tanye khabar. Sihat?

me: Alhamdulillah sihat, awak mesti sihat gak kan? sori kalau ade terkasar ari 2

R: Maaf mu di terima. Bz ek?

me: Em. thanx. Xde bz pun. Nak g makan jap.

R: Em.. jom makan ngan sy nak?

me: Em.. xpe r.. Next time kot.. sy x sedia nak jumpe awak g..

R: Em ye ke..ok la. Sy pun x makan lagi. 2 yang tanye if awak nak makan ngan sy. Em, tesis awak camne?

me: Sori ek.. Em tesis ok je. Still in progress.. awak keje dah ek? Tinggal katne sekarang?

R: Haah.. Dah 3 bulan lebih. Keje kat S*** A***. Ni pun baru balik keje. Dalam kete lagi ni jem. Duk kat S******** umah aunty tapi selalu lepak N***** tido bilik Y**

me: owh.. keje kat S*** A*** ek? bagus r 2.. Dah ade kerjaye sendiri.

R: Alhamdulillah. Bolehlah bantu family. Keje situ gaji pun ok. awak dok mane sekarang?

me: Cam2 bagus r.. Em.. tempat dulu gak P***** D****.. Xde pindah tempat len pun..

R: Em, sy tngk Y** ni study teringat mase baru masuk U********* M***** dulu. P****

Rase kejap je. Dah grad. Dah keje.

me: Haha sekurang-kurang nye dah leh cari duit sendiri.. ok r 2.. Em A** salahkan sy sebab break ngan awak. Y** cam2 gak ke?

R: Y** ? A** ? diorang x cakap pape pun... Dulu2 ada. Baru2 ni ade jugak sy lepak dengan diorang. Just tanye gitu2 je

me: Ye ke? A** x habis2 salahkan sy. Yang peliknye nape pas setahun? Nape x dulu je.. Biar je r..sy malas nak pk dah.. Nak terus salahkan sy, suka ati diorang r

R: die salahkan macam mane? Betul ke niat die nak salahkan awak?

me: Em malas r nak cite. Msg die pun sy simpan g. Leh je forward kalau nak. Tp xpe r.. biar je.. mase sy hilang diri dulu, sy banyak pk. Sy dah letih r awak.. Banyak prob dalam hidup sy. Salah satu prob kite. Bile nak selesai? Sampai bile? Sy dah letih nak puaskan ati semua orang.. sy dah letih awak.. dah letih..

R: Astaghfirullah hal azim.Awak.. Cube kalau ade masalah cite. Bincang. Awak lari n pk sorang2 dapat penyelesaian ke? n selain dari masalah kite, ape lagi masalah?

me: Ntah r.. banyak sangat masalah. Ari 2 memang xleh nak pkpe dah. Sy lari.. N last2 nangis gak. Dah x tahan dah.. Sy xnak pk g, cukup r 2.. sy nak pk dri je. Dah letih pk orang len.. sy dah penat.. Mintak maap sebabkan sakitkan ati awak..

R: Tau pun!! buat ape awak pk bende2 remeh cam2. Macam mane air mata darah pun boleh ubah persepsi diorang kat awak? Bende yang dah lepas. Biar la lepas. Sy pun nak jalan ke depan je sekarang ni..

me: Bagus r cam2. Pas ari sy hilang 2, sy dah pk.. start ari 2, sy nak jalan atas jalan sy sendiri.. Nak pk diri sendiri je.. Biar r pe orang nak kate.. Sori awak, sy xnak janji pape kat awak g. Xnak bagi harapan kat awak g.. Kte teruskan hidup masing2 je pasni. Kalau awak jumpe someone yang lagi baik dari sy, terime je die.. Sy doakan awak bahagia..

R: Selame ni awak jalan atas sape? Kan dari dulu awak memang atas jalan awak? Kan dari dulu memang awak buat keputusan atas dasar ape yang awak rase? Nape awaknak pk2 lagi?

me: Sebab sy still rase bersalah wat cam2 kat awak.. Awak xtau kan? Sampai saat ni pun rase bersalah sy kat awak x pernah hilang. + bile A** cakap, awak cakap ngan gambar sy.. rase sedih je.. Apa yang sy dah wat kat awak? Nape awak jadi sampai cam2? Tapi sy dah xleh pendam dah awak.. Ari sy hilang, sy down gile. Dah xleh terime pape dah.. Ape yang orang cakap, salahkan sy accept je. Maafkan sy ek? takecare. Salam

... And our conversation just end like that. I dont know.. what happen to her after that.. R stop text me just like that, maybe she crying, or happy.. I really dont have any idea.. But for me, what I say is what I means.. I will walk on my own path after this.. And my past will always be my past..

That's Why Better To Be Cruel..

One of my friend said that I'm to kind, to nice.. and ask me to be more cruel. The other friend want me to keep been nice.. But for me, after what happen I think I will start to be cruel to peoples. Really will start it later. Now, I'm really tired doing all this things : take care other's heart, make sure they happy, concern for them.. but, at last what I got is hurt, hurt and hurt.. coz they repay that with lying to me about almost everythings.

I'm not stupid ok!! I have a brain that God give to me to think, to observe and to know what really happen.. Besides, I have learn more about all this things from my own experience.. the experience that hurt me a lot but until now I keep smiling.. try to make like nothing happen just bcoz I still keep in mind that they are my frends, even what they do to me is really hurt.. the story is below, happen couple years ago:

" L really like V very much, since in school. One of L friend T know about this and keep supporting L.. year and year, at last L can get closer to V.. but suddenly T start to contact V, with the reason that T want V to help T tackle V's friend. L that is pure at that time seem it as nothing.. What the stupid L.. About a month, L seen that V and T become much more closer, more than L closer to V. Realize that there have something between V and T, L ask them about it, but they say they just friend. Want to trust or not, L has no choice.. So L just said ok then. What the hell, after few month L got know something that's really shock him.. V and T is now a couple? What?? What is this? Where is gone the statement 'that they just friend'? L force V and what V can said is sorry, she just want to take care of L heart.. What the nice answer.. dont V realize that what she's done is hurting L ?? It is better if V said that there is something happen between V and T when L ask about it before.. Dont you think so? Just say if its true although the truth will make hurt. But it is better than pretend nothing happen and suddenly something more shocking happen.. Thanx to T and V, the person that L call friends.. stab L at the back.. make L realize that better to trust himself more than anybody, And until now L keep smiling when meet T and V, and still can talk to them nicely, make a joke with them, just bcoz L still know meaning of friends, although they dont know about it.."

Enjoy reading it?? that is the true story of my life. Dont say about V and T. But L is really me.. Want to believe or not, I let you to judge it. And I think maybe thing same like this will happen to me again. But the different is, this time I will get ready to face it. To all persons outside there that act like my friends, thanx to all of you.. you really good at act. And for me, that's why better to be cruel..

Time To Wake Up !!!

Hey kay_are!! what are you thinking until now? What are you doing until now? Enough is enough! Now it is the time for you to stop thinking about the others. Now, you must start to think about yourself. Realize it now. Stop to care about other peoples. Stop it!!! Just take care of your heart and ignore everythings. Maybe its seem cruel but what you had get until now is more cruel than that.

Start with R, Z, C... all this peoples only know to blame you based on their "clever thinking" but they never realize that they are totally wrong!! Without know nothing they want to blame you for everything? What are they thinking?? Come to your life suddenly to make you happy several of times and after that hurting you hundred of time. If that so, it is better for them not coming into your life rite? Keep in mind, only the several person deserve your nicest. Remember that!

Try your best to take care other peoples, try to be nice, friendly.. but what you get at last?? Nothing!! I repeated nothing!! Dont they have a heart to realize everything that you are doing is for them? So now, stop doing all this thing. You are not "Yun Jihu". Very different compare to him. It is time for show your cruelty. Although I know deep inside in your heart you will be teribble doing cruelty to other peoples. But, for now just pretend nothing happen. Just pretend..

So kay_are, it is time for you to wake up!!

Tetra-Fang - Dont You Think They Are Great??

Hi there.. now as you can see, I has go 1 step forward with this blog thing. Now my blog as the mp3. At last I can listen to the song in my own blog. Thanx for the MixPod for this gadgets. Using this gadget, It really help me a lot while I trying to insert all this songs. Haha.. lets talking about the song that I insert in my mp3 player.

Emm.. I really sure 97% or more of you never hear all this songs. Why ?? because all this come from the "Japan Hero" series, and I'm sure many of you will said that this kind of songs, that is use in the series that is been watching by childrens has a low quality and not suitable for the people with the age like us. Anything you say, I dont care coz for me sometimes, this kind of songs has more quality than other songs. If not, the producer will not take this songs as opening of the series rite??

Back to the Tetra-Fang. I'm really excited to talk about this band. For me, the singer of this band is quiet ok since he is not a singer, but an actor actually. This is a first time he sing for a band so.. it perform well on all this song, just my opinion. He know how to rock in the song like "Supernova", and also know to be sentimental in "Rainy Rose". So, for an actor that try to sing for the first time, he really do a great job.

But, one thing that disappointed me. Now this band is gone. Why?? because Tetra-Fang is considered a "limited band unit" and was form only to perform a song of one Japan Hero series and since the series is end, the band is also gone. It really make me feel unhappy coz I think this band has a lot of potential and can move on. Hope one day, they will collabrate again as the real band. Below is a name of Tetra-Fang's members, just for the info. Lastly, enjoy the song!!

Tetra-Fang's Members:

Koji Seto - vocals

Shuhei Naruse - keyboard

Yuji - lead guitar

Roy - bass

Ume - bass

Ayano - lead guitar

The War Will Begin But I ??

Firstly, dont be afraid, shock, or scared with the title that I use. It is just a metaphore for me. What I mean by that is test, and final exam that is just around of corner. If not mistaken, it will be held a month later. But I ?? am I ready for this exam?? am I really think I can success in this exam?? am I ready to answer the questions that will come out?? of coz the answer is no. I'm really sure that I am not ready for this exam. Maybe for the short test I'm ready, but for final exam, the answer is no.

Just dont look at me, look at you.. ask yourself the same question I ask myself, and compare. I'm sure a lot of you will have same answer with me.. sure rite?? but, maybe a few people will have "yes" for the answer.. wow!!.. how lucky they are know how to manage their time wisely.. I'm feel jealous with this kind of peoples.. why can't I do the same?? can you teach me how to manage the time?? I think I'm forget the way to do it..

Go back to the topic, my exam will be held on November. It is means that I have no enough time.. suddenly tension comes around me, plus with a lot of tutorial, assignment, and final project that must be finish as soon as possible.. and I have no idea how to finish all that.. thats really make me stress. But, I think I can get ready for this exam, if and only if I start to finish all my works and after that, focus with my study.. hope I can do it.. pray for my succeed..

When We Throw The Chance That Is Given

Salam.. just come home from open house one of my coursemate... The different is I dont know too much about my coursemate that held this open house... so I just go there, talk a few word to her/him, eat anything that I want there, meet her/his family, and done.. thats all.. so after finish with all that thing, I thinking and say to myself, is that all I can do??

Looking at the other friends, I know they seem so happy there.. a lot of pictures their taken, with a lot of jokes, happiness, enjoyable.. suddenly I feel very pity with myself.. Why ?? because this is firstime in my life i go to her/his house.. it is not because her/his not invited but me myself refuse to go there before this.. even several friends ask me to go there..

And as the result, as you can see, firstime I go and dont know what to do there.. Dont know want to talk with who and dont know how to make them realize that I exist there.. haha.. what the unlucky I am not use the years that God given to know all my friends.. feel like a stupid because refuse to involve with them before this.. like I throw away the chance that have been given to me..

Haha.. but I think positively and it is not to late to being closest with all my friends.. I will try to not throwing away the chance to know all of them that is given to me anymore.. bcoz i know that they all are good friends, only I dont know them well.. so to me.. better keep going to know all my friends before it is to late.. thats all..

Start With Bismillah..

Bismillahirahmanirahim.. assalamualaikum and hi to all people outside there, today is the first time i create this blog.. And also the first time i write something on it.. Nothing much to say.. just want to introduce you with my own page.. Why suddenly i create this thing? em.. i dont know actually.. haha

But.. a lot of people say, we can use this thing as our own diary.. thats mean we can write anything that keep thinking in our mind in this blog.. Anything including problems, laughter, sadness, and many other things.. so here it is.. my own blog that will show u what is the true meaning of life..and i call it ElementOfLife